


Five Times

by JWade



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Tear Rating: 5/10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 15:59:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12279780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JWade/pseuds/JWade
Summary: Five times Sam woke up with Gabriel in his bed, and one time he convinced him to stay.





	Five Times

**Author's Note:**

> I realized that I haven't done one of these five times tropes yet, and this one stuck in my head recently so I bit the bullet.

The first time it happened, Sam thought for sure he was dreaming. He woke still and silently in confusion. The feeling of the weight on his arm, the warm hand dancing lightly over his bare chest and stomach, the soft lips against his shoulder and the moisture falling on his shoulder. He heard a slight sniffle, almost too soft for him to pick up even in the silence of the room. “I’m so sorry, my Samshine,” he heard a whisper, nearly as quiet, but he recognized the voice. Gabriel was in his room, in his bed, in his arms even. And he was crying. And apologizing. For what? Before Sam could shake off his confusion and wake fully, he felt those same soft lips ghost over his cheek. “Until tonight,” Gabriel whispered again and then his bed was empty once more. 

Sam just lay there blinking in confusion for a moment, brow furrowed as he tried to hold onto the phantom sensations. Was it real? It couldn’t have been. Gabriel was dead. Had died years ago. Had died for him even. It had to have just been his subconscious pining for the archangel. Even after all these years, his heart still ached for him. Yes, he was definitely dreaming. Even if Gabriel were alive somehow, he wouldn’t be in Sam’s bed, and definitely not apologizing or crying over him. Like he could ever be worthy of an archangel. Still, that night when he went to bed, he lay there for a long time pretending to be sleeping, waiting to see if Gabriel would come. As his pretending turned real in the early hours of the morning, his bed was still as empty as ever, and Sam filed the whole thing out of his mind, almost laughing at his ridiculousness. 

 

It was months before the experience repeated itself. He once again woke without a sound or movement, and felt that same weight on his arm. This time, Gabriel’s hand was curled on his chest and his head resting on Sam’s shoulder. Sam forced himself to stay still and silent, not wanting the moment to end just yet. He was slightly more awake than he had been last time, but still not completely there. He forced his breathing to stay slow and even as he tried to climb from the last vestiges of sleep and see, once and for all, if this was real. Before he completely got there though, he felt those same soft lips trail up over his jaw and the same, “Until tonight,” whispered almost inaudibly before his bed and his arms were empty once more. 

This time, Sam was pretty sure it was real, but still not totally convinced. It still didn’t explain why or how. Why would Gabriel be in his bed, holding him? How was Gabriel even alive? It just didn’t make any sense, giving Sam plenty of doubt about the reality of the situation. He had to be dreaming. It was the thing he wanted most after all, and it was a big step up from the nightmares that had plagued him on a daily basis until a few months ago. It wasn’t like he didn’t dream of Gabriel often anyway. He had managed to hide his feelings for the irascible archangel from everyone, even Dean, but he couldn’t hide them from his subconscious. He didn’t particularly want to even. He knew that his dreams were the closest he would ever come to having him. 

 

The third time, almost six months after the last, Sam was mostly awake and suddenly sure that it was real. Gabriel’s forehead was resting against the side of Sam’s neck, and he, once again, felt tears falling on his skin. “I’m so sorry, Samshine. I wish…wish I could see those beautiful eyes of yours look at me without…without the hate and pain. I wish…god, I just wish for everything. I’m so sorry, my love.” This time the archangel’s soft lips brushed, ever so lightly against Sam’s own and the hunter instinctively tried to follow them, before Gabriel was gone again. 

Sam was sure now. He had been nearly completely awake by the time Gabriel left. Gabriel was alive. He had been here, and Sam began turning things over in his head. Did he really used to look at Gabriel with hate and pain in his eyes? He first thought back to the moment they met. There was quite a bit of flirting and definitely nothing bad there. Desire, maybe. Lust, even, but definitely not hate. At the end of that encounter, once he realized that Gabriel was what they had been hunting, there might have been pain. He had been hurt. He had felt like Gabriel was just playing games with him, getting him hooked for the fun of it. 

The second time they met, with the whole mystery spot thing. Yeah…there was definitely hate and pain there. He remembered slamming Gabriel against the fence when he was still in the guise of the man from the diner. Once he changed though, Sam definitely hated, but the hate was more generated at himself. Sure, some of it was at Gabriel, what with everything he had put him through, but the majority of it was because Sam, despite everything, couldn’t help but feel something for the smaller man. He held him there against that fence far longer than he needed to, just wanting to be as close to him as possible for as long as possible. Only the fact that his brother was right next to him kept his body from reacting to the proximity and he had definitely hated himself for that. At the end, when Gabriel summoned him back to him to explain the lesson, Sam didn’t have the energy for hate anymore. All he felt was raw unadulterated agony, and he was sure that Gabriel could see that in his eyes. He got it though. About the time that Lucifer rose, he figured out what Gabriel had been trying to do, and all of his resentment over the issue died a fiery death and he was left with a burning love for the little being who did all he could to stop the end of the world. 

That was why he had wanted so badly to talk to him before they got trapped in tv land. He didn’t think there was any hate in his eyes there. Annoyance, probably. Frustration when he learned that Gabriel was trying to make them finish what they started. It wasn’t until the end, when they found out what Gabriel was that any kind of hate made its way back into the picture and then it was all self-loathing. None of it had been aimed at Gabriel at all. He despised himself for even loving something so pure and good as an archangel. He knew he could never be worthy of someone like him. Hell he didn’t even feel worthy of the monster he pretended to be, much less the glorious being he actually was, and he hated himself for it. 

Their final encounter…he would have thought that Gabriel would have been able to see through that. Sure, he still hated himself and Gabriel might have seen and misinterpreted that, but he distinctly remembered looking at the archangel with gratitude and hope. He remembered the worried look he shot him as he left when their eyes met briefly. If he had known he was leaving Gabriel to his death, he never would have gone. He would have stayed, even if just to die at his side. To not have to live with the knowledge that Gabriel had died for him. He was sure that Gabriel had a lot of reasons to be there and to make his stand that had nothing to do with Sam…at least he had been before this morning. The way Gabriel had called him ‘my love’ with such longing in his voice, made him wonder. He thought about Gabriel’s wishes, and swore that one day he would see that, and he added his own wish to the mix. He wished that Gabriel would stay after he woke up. That he would stop running away.

 

The fourth time, more than a year after the first, Sam woke to a warm hand carding through his hair and a soft pair of lips against his forehead. He turned his head slightly towards Gabriel to just breathe in his scent, but before he could open his eyes or his mouth, Gabriel was gone again and Sam just huffed and crossed his arms in annoyance. Stupid archangel. Didn’t even give Sam a chance to talk to him before he just winged away. 

 

The fifth time, Sam felt Gabriel’s warm hand trailing over his jaw. “I love you so much, Sam. I miss you. I wish…” Gabriel sighed softly. “It doesn’t matter what I wish. I knew what I was giving up when I tried my last ditch effort to stop you. If only it had worked…it would have been worth it. I’m sorry I failed, Sam. I…I’m sorry I lost you for nothing. I will never stop loving you,” he whispered softly, brushing his lips over Sam’s again. Sam tightened his arms, trying to stop Gabriel from leaving, but no sooner than he started they were empty again. Sam nearly growled in frustration as he threw his hands in the air. He was determined that next time…next time he would get him. 

 

A few months later, Gabriel once again missed the fact that Sam had woken up as he was trailing his hand over the hunter’s muscular chest and pressing feather light kisses over his shoulder. This time, the second Sam was aware enough to do so, he whispered, “Don’t go, Gabriel. Please,” as he tightened his arms at the same time and turned his head towards the archangel and Gabriel just froze, wide-eyed. He was too panicked to even think about flying away. When Sam opened his eyes and stared right into the archangel’s frightened ones, he whispered again. “Stay, Gabriel.”

Gabriel gulped audibly. He knew he had been caught, and part of him wanted nothing more than to run as far and as fast as he could to avoid this confrontation, he knew that it wouldn’t matter. Sam would find some way to track him down and force it anyway. At least he didn’t seem pissed. Not yet, at least, and Gabriel had never been very good at saying no to Sam anyway, so he stayed. Completely rigid, not breathing, and more skittish than a cornered mouse, but he stayed. “Sam…I…” he tried to speak but no other words would come out. 

“How often?” Sam asked curiously, knowing that Gabriel would know exactly what he was asking, and if not, then he might get the answer to a different question anyway which would be just as welcome. Sam was very good at interrogation for a reason. Don’t ask specifics. Leave everything open-ended and let the other person fill in the blanks. 

“E-every night,” Gabriel said nervously, tearing his eyes away from Sam’s and looking down at the hunter’s chest that he was still pressed against. 

“Since when?” Sam asked keeping his arms tight around Gabriel as if that would force him to stay if he tried to fly away. 

“Since…since I…um…a…about a year and a half,” Gabriel said guiltily. 

“Why then? I…I thought you were dead.”

“It was…a few days after I escaped from Metatron after he resurrected me…I…stopped to check in on you and you were…having a nightmare so I…I stayed to shield you from them and then…I just…got hooked…I…I’m sorry,” Gabriel stammered. 

Sam got what could only be classified as a smirk on his face before he firmly said, “No more sneaking around, Gabriel.”

“I won’t. I-I promise,” Gabriel said defeated. He had always known his indulgence had to come to an end someday. It should have come to an end a long time ago. Hell, he never should have started it to begin with. He should have just thrown a permanent shield over Sam’s dreams and left that first night. He just hadn’t been able to help himself. 

“Good. Because if I’m going to have the love of my life in my bed, I want to know it,” Sam said matter-of-factly, despite the fact that his heart was threatening to beat out of his chest at those words. 

Gabriel nodded sadly anticipating what he thought Sam was going to say. “I know…I…waitwhat?!” he said that last part quickly as his head snapped up to look Sam in the eyes and he could see the amusement shining there and closed his eyes against the pain the welled up within him. “Please…Sam…don’t,” he nearly whimpered.

“Don’t what?” Sam’s amusement at Gabriel’s reaction faded to concern and confusion. 

“Don’t…don’t play with me like that…I mean…I know I deserve it…after everything…but please…I’m begging you…”

Sam could nearly feel the desperate anguish dripping from the archangel’s voice and he could feel his own eyes filling with tears. “I’m not, Gabriel. I…this isn’t a game,” he whispered as his hand came to rest on the archangel’s cheek. “And you don’t deserve it.”

Gabriel’s eyes caught Sam’s again and he could feel his breath being taken away at the pure devotion shining there. Did he dare believe it though? “Sam…” he whispered desperately, not quite sure what he was desperate for in that moment. 

Sam knew though and even if he was wrong he couldn’t have stopped himself as he lifted his head and pressed his lips to the archangel’s pouring everything he felt into that moment and just willing Gabriel to feel it. To believe it. He didn’t think he could say it again. Not without hearing it from Gabriel first. At least, hearing it from him when he knew that Gabriel meant for him to hear it. He didn’t totally count what was said when he was still partially asleep. Who knew what kind of tricks his mind might have been playing on him after all? No matter how much he thought it was real, he couldn’t be a hundred percent positive until he heard it intentionally from Gabriel’s own lips. 

Neither of them moved to deepen the kiss, just reveling in the feeling of their lips moving together and when Sam pulled back, Gabriel whimpered a bit and Sam sighed blissfully. He didn’t go far though, his hand moving to the back of Gabriel’s head to hold the archangel’s forehead against his. 

Gabriel could feel his heart threatening to jump right out of his chest as his breath hitched. There was no denying the love and longing that he had felt from the hunter. Those were two feelings he knew like the back of his hand and he would recognize them anywhere. They stayed there like that for a long time, neither moving or speaking, their breaths mingling in the small space between their lips, as Gabriel struggled to say something…anything…whatever it took to keep this, but no words would come. He finally just tilted his head forward and captured Sam’s lips again, still just as chaste, but with an underlying hunger that the last had lacked, and when he ended it, he finally managed to whisper, “I love you, Sam.”

Sam grinned happily and took a deep relieved breath. “And I love you, Gabriel. I always have.”


End file.
